Hope for Orphans

NOTE FROM PAUL PENNINGTON
Executive Director, Hope for Orphans

The Finish Line

In this issue:

	Robin Pennington on Post Adoption Expectations: Part 2 As I shared with you in the April e-newsletter, my husband Paul, our 3 year-old biological daughter, Elizabeth, and I welcomed home our daughter Kit in June of 1984, the first of five children the Lord brought us through adoption. It didn’t take long for the Lord to show me that this was much bigger than I had ever expected. I was confronted with the realization that I had less than realistic expectations of what this experience would be like. I learned that with the very real joy of receiving our daughter through adoption, we had a grieving child, even though she was only a few days old. Since that first adoption, I have seen with all of our adoptions that a grieving type process, even in infants, is pretty normal. At first, I was not sure what to do with this grief-like behavior. With our kids who were adopted at older ages, there were clear signs of grief. They ate very little, smiled rarely, and had trouble falling asleep and sleeping through the night. I was not really seeing this process from the child's perspective as much as I was from mine and in relation to my own expectations. I felt that they were not “bonding” or connecting with me or our other children and was fearful that this was their personality. With some of our children, this grief or sadness lasted for weeks. The length of time seemed to be directly related to the age of the child. The older they were at placement, it seemed the longer they grieved. It was not that we did not love them well or provide well or that they had any attachment issues, but they were trying to emotionally cope with all the changes in their little world. When we allow ourselves to feel what the child is feeling, bonding begins to happen. God is so capable of enabling us to feel what our child is feeling. I can distinctly remember, with two of my children, the very moment when I first realized that God was connecting my heart to theirs. When I looked into their little faces I was, through Him, able to feel their sadness and my focus became them and not me. This was a powerful realization for me and my children. I think for the very first time I realized that it was not all about me!

	Southern Baptist Convention Passes Adoption and Orphan Care Resolution On June 24, 2009, the Southern Baptist Convention unanimously passed a resolution on Adoption and Orphan Care. The resolution was presented by Dr. Russell D. Moore, who is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. The resolution aimed at increasing awareness of not only the needs of orphans around the world, but the duty of Christians, as the adopted children of God, to care for them as our Father has called us to do. Among other calls to action, the resolution calls on “each Southern Baptist family to pray for guidance as to whether God is calling them to adopt or foster a child or children.” It also encourages “our pastors and church leaders to preach and teach on God's concern for orphans.” It further calls on local churches to champion the cause of adoption, foster care and orphan care. Moore knows that the resolution will not be enough by itself to motivate the nation’s largest protestant denomination to action on behalf of orphans. “Only the Holy Spirit can do that as local churches start to embrace a vision for orphan care,” Moore says. “The resolution though was meant to prompt some questions. If one messenger in the Convention hall is moved to simply pray, ‘Lord, how would you have me minister to orphans?’, then the resolution is a success, in my view. If one pastor is prompted to ponder how he could preach on adoption, or lead a foster care ministry among his folks, then the work is starting.” In addition to his position at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Dr. Moore recently co-authored a book entitled “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches” and was one of the main speakers at the Christian Alliance for Orphans fifth annual summit in Dallas, TX, earlier this year. The Southern Baptist Convention Resolution on Adoption and Orphan Care can be read in its entirety by clicking here.

	My Story: How God Brought Me Home By Selam Ball, Age 14 In a little Ethiopian village, on a cold wintry day, I was born. I don’t know the year exactly, but I do remember celebrating my birthday every June 24^th. As a baby, my family moved to the big city called Addis Ababa. Soon, there were many changes in my life. When I was 3 years old, my father died. Then I lived with my mother until I was about 6. At that time my mother could no longer take care of my little sister and me because she didn’t have a job. So, I went to live for about a year with one of my mom’s friends. During that year, she made preparations to put me in the Kechene Children’s Orphanage. That was a big change for me to leave my family and live in a strange place with many kids that I didn’t know. Once I realized that I had to stay there, I made a lot of good friends and felt better. In 2007, after living 5 years in the orphanage, a group of the children were chosen to spend two weeks in the USA. I wasn’t part of the chosen group, but I really wanted to go. I finally had the courage to ask the director if I could go also, even though it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. I had prayed that I would be chosen. After many weeks, the groups gathered in a room to find out who was going to America. I wasn’t on the list, and I felt very disappointed. It was quiet in the room when I heard someone say, “There is one more name.” Then, all of a sudden I heard my name. My heart jumped when I realized that God had answered my prayer. I couldn’t believe it, and I felt very excited and happy. I became very eager to go as I learned more about America, but I was also nervous since I didn’t know whom I was going to stay with. Shortly before we got on the plane, I was given a picture of the single lady doctor that I was going to be staying with. The woman hosting me was very kind, but during the 18 days in Texas I felt very sad and lonely. At the orphanage I always had my friends around me, and now I was the only child in the house. It was difficult for me as I was so used to having other children around me. I prayed often that the lady in Texas would be able to adopt me AND my best friend still living in Ethiopia. After I found out she was only going to be able to adopt me, I began to think that it might be best for me to stay in Ethiopia. When I was praying and thinking about what I should do, I remembered a story I had heard in Ethiopia. One day a poor but happy man was given some gold. That man became very worried that the gold would be stolen, and finally he gave it back. Then he was happy again. That story helped me to decide that it was more important to be happy than to have all America could give me. Even though I had prayed and wanted to have a family, I knew God was telling me for some reason that I had to go back to Ethiopia. After returning to Ethiopia, I eventually found out a family in Kansas was interested in adopting me. A few weeks after returning, I saw a person who works for the American adoption agency. I asked if I could write a letter to my new family, and they said, “not yet.” One day after school I was so surprised and excited when they handed me a letter from my family in Kansas. When I saw the picture I was immediately happy. It made me feel good to know I was being adopted into a large family. I was especially glad to see that my family included two little African-American girls. It seemed like it took forever for them to come and get me, but finally on April 7, 2008, the day arrived. My mom and her friend came earlier than expected, and when they took me to meet them I was nervous and asked lots of questions. When I first met Mom I knew God had given me a wonderful family. I cried and cried at the airport when it was time to leave my friends. On the way to America I had many thoughts about my new family and life. I was scared, nervous, and happy all at the same time. When we arrived at the airport in Wichita, there were lots of people waiting for me. There was my family, grandparents, and cousins who were all smiling and eager to meet me. I was overwhelmed because everything was new and different. My family was loving and kind to me, so soon I felt comfortable. I often think about God’s perfect plan for my life. He has blessed me in so many ways. One example is that God brought my best friend from Ethiopia to live with another family in my city! And that single doctor that first opened her home giving me the opportunity to come? She has become a great friend to me. I am glad to live in America where I will have many opportunities. I am thankful for my family who loves and cares for me. God has been so good to me all through my life, and it is wonderful to be a part of the Ball family!

	Exciting New Developments in the Works for First Annual National Orphan Sunday In recognition of the First National Orphan Sunday (November 8, 2009), announced in April by the Christian Alliance for Orphans, Cry of the Orphan Campaign Partners Focus on the Family, Hope for Orphans (a ministry of FamilyLife), and Show Hope (formerly known as Shaohannah’s Hope) are putting together a special event in Nashville, TN, with Steven Curtis Chapman, Jim Daly, and Dennis Rainey. Details for the event are still being worked out.

	Christian Alliance for Orphans believes that Orphans Deserve Better As many are aware, Warner Brothers released a movie in July entitled “Orphan”, which many feared would present a negative stereotype of orphans that might dissuade people from adopting. The Christian Alliance for Orphans, under the leadership of President Jedd Medefind, countered the negative messages in the movie by taking the opportunity to launch the “Orphans Deserve Better Campaign”, aimed at presenting the positive side of caring for orphans. Rather than choosing to bash the film, the Alliance chose instead to take a pro-active position, and created a website and campaign that communicates the joys and blessings of caring for orphans. The website (found here) contains a petition that can be signed and sent to Warner Brothers Chairman and CEO Barry Meyer, asking Warner Brothers to use some of the proceeds from the movie to benefit orphans around the world. The website also contains facts about orphans, a page where people can share their “orphan stories”, a video message from Mr. Medefind, and a listing of ways that we can all serve orphans. We at Hope for Orphans applaud the Alliance for taking this stand and for launching this campaign, recognizing that its choice to light a candle instead of cursing the darkness will likely result in the education of many people (including some in Hollywood) about the joys of serving and meeting the needs of the world’s orphans. For more information on the Orphans Deserve Better Campaign, please visit OrphansDeserveBetter.org.

	Partner Spotlight: Focus on the Family Focus on the Family has long been known as a strong advocate for children and families, so involvement in orphan and adoption-related issues is a natural fit. Focus on the Family’s Adoption & Orphan Care Initiative early on identified three key areas in which they saw a need, and they have put the majority of their efforts into addressing those needs. The first area of emphasis is in raising awareness of the needs of legal orphans (waiting kids) in the United States Foster Care System, and recruiting families to adopt those children. In response to the vast numbers of waiting children in foster care, Focus launched its Wait No More events through which it partners with government, adoption agencies, churches, and ministry leaders in strategic locations on a half day event that “inspires, educates, equips, and connects interested families to the resources they need to consider how God might use them to help a waiting child.” As Kelly Rosati, the Senior Director for Sanctity of Human Life and Director of the Adoption & Orphan Care Initiative at Focus puts it, “With 127,000 waiting kids in US foster care and 300,000 churches, we believe every waiting child should be able to have the loving home and family they deserve.” The initial Wait No More event in Colorado brought together 1300 Christians from over 150 churches last November. By the end of the day, 260 families had begun the process to adopt from foster care. The next Wait No More will be held on Saturday, September 19, at Calvary Chapel Downey in the Los Angeles area. A second area of emphasis for Focus’ Adoption & Orphan Care Initiative is its partnership with Hope for Orphans and Show Hope in the Cry of the Orphan Campaign, which creates awareness of the plight of orphans worldwide through various initiatives, including the annual media campaign and the National Foster Care Prayer Vigil. The third emphasis for Focus’ Adoption & Orphan Care Initiative is providing post placement resources and assistance for adoptive families and for the churches that support them. In addition to providing complimentary resources to its Wait No More attendees, Focus partners with Bethany Christian Services in providing complimentary advanced adoption training to licensed counselors. In exchange for this training, the counselors agree to help one adoptive family at little to no cost to the family. Kelly explains, “As an organization committed to helping families thrive, we are committed to assisting adoptive families with the unique challenges they face, which includes equipping the church to know how to help the adoptive families in their midst.” Kelly further explained why Focus has chosen to emphasize the areas it has. “We chose to use the voice and reach that God has blessed us with to raise awareness about the needs of waiting kids in foster care because that is one of the most difficult areas in the adoption arena. So many have just given up on these kids but we felt the Lord lead us to be their voice to those in the church who may be called to welcome them home. And, once those kids are welcomed home, we want to be there for the families with post-placement resources designed for their unique struggles. So we can help adoptive families thrive in Christ.” To learn more about Focus on the Family’s Adoption & Orphan Care Initiative, as well as its Wait No More events, please visit ICareAboutOrphans.org.

	Update on South Korea Adoptions With the increased wait times for referrals for adoption in China, many Christians are considering other options for international adoption. One of China’s neighbors, South Korea, has a long history of international adoptions. The South Korean government places a quota on the number of international adoptions it allows each year. According to Alison Adema, the Program Coordinator for South Korea at Bethany Christian Services, the government of South Korea wants to do a better job of taking care of its own children. In light of this, she adds, “they want to grow domestic adoption, services for kids and eventually phase out inter-country adoptions.” Still, because they do not yet have the structure in place, they continue to allow inter-country adoptions, though the number allowed through each agency is generally reduced each year. Wait times can vary, depending on each agency’s guidelines. Some agencies have put their own restrictions on who can and cannot adopt from South Korea. Bethany, for example, only allows families that are open to either gender. Still, in spite of this restriction, Bethany continues to receive more applicants each year than their quota allows. As Alison puts it, “The popularity of this program remains strong, especially considering programs like China (long wait, no birth family info due to abandonment, orphanages). South Korea’s wait can be manageable. We receive thorough information on the children and often birth families.” As for special needs children, in the last decade or so, they have been included in the annual quota. Alison says, “The more flexible the family, the more options they would have.” South Korea does have some unique post placement requirements, according to Alison. “Adoptions are finalized in the United States, and children travel on an IR4 visa. Each state has its own requirements for finalization as to time frames. In regards to citizenship, the kids are not US citizens until finalization of the adoption and families must still apply for a certificate of citizenship as proof of this.” For more information on South Korea adoptions, please visit jcics.org/Korea.htm.

August 2009 Enewsletter